Posts tagged perfect tags
Posts tagged perfect tags
i spent six years of my life laughing at this
#IT’S A HOGWARTS AU WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO TAKE MUGGLE STUDIES FIRST YEAR TO LEARN ABOUT ACCEPTANCE AND SOMETIMES THEY TAKE BREAKS AND COLOR AND STUFF AND DRACO IS /BORED/ BECAUSE THEY DON’T MOVE AND WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS A /CRAYOLA/? AND THEN HE DRAWS HIS FAMILY EXCEPT THEY ALL KIND OF LOOK LIKE BLOND BOBS AND SOMEONE (HARRY) TELLS HIM THAT HE’S NOT COLORING INSIDE HIS LINES CORRECTLY AND DRACO GLARES AT HIM AND SAYS THAT ACTUALLY /SCARFACE/ HE DOES NOT TAKE /ORDERS/ FROM /LINES/ AND HARRY SAYS ‘BUT THAT’S THE RULE’ AND DRACO SNEERS /JUST WAIT TIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS THEN WE’LL SEE HOW IMPORTANT YOUR BLOODY LINES ARE/
#picturing little draco imperiously shouting WHAT IS A CRAYOLA and harry quickly is like crayola’s terrible here use roseart instead and dean thomas hides a grin and draco throws his box of crayons at harry’s head and says DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but he picks up a roseart crayon because it’s time to get started on his pièce de résistance which he calls ‘die potter die’ and features no less than seventeen ways in which he’d like harry to meet his end one of which involves hary tripping over his own feet into a vat of acid except roseart is shit everyone knows that WHAT IS THIS draco howls indignantly PROFESSOR POTTER IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY MASTERPIECE TELL HIM TO GIVE ME THE CRAYOLA and harry’s like fine malfoy look we can share and draco’s like I DON’T THINK SO POTTER YOU’VE ALREADY TRIED TO SABOTAGE ME ONCE I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR DEVILISH WILES
#THE POTTER CHILD IS EVERYTHING YOU SAID HE WOULD BE AND WORSE FATHER WAX CRAYONS I TELL YOU HE WOULD HAVE ME USE WAX CRAYONS IT’S UNTHINKABLE FATHER IT’S POSITIVELY UNACCEPTABLE DON’T YOU THINK #draco writes violently on a sheet of purple construction paper #lucius weeps when he reads it then sits in his study looking consumptive and tragic until narcissa brings him a stiff drink
and then draco becomes the greatest artist in britain
can you tell we haven’t had a new book in a while
→ ”He proceeded to sort of talk about some very clandestine part of WW2…
He seemed to have expert knowledge of exactly the sort of noise that they make so I just sort of didn’t push the subject any further, I just said ”Well you obviously know what to do, Christopher, so I’m sure you’ll do it great” and he did.”
This is the last guy that messed up my petunias.
#Castiel has a lot of pride in his garden #if you mow down the edges of his flower paths #he’ll smite your ass #all the way back #to lawncare hell #Dont fucking touch my stepping stones you inept baffoon #How dare you spread that subpar fertilizer on my lawn #THIS IS KENTUCKY BLUEGRASS. #I’M GOING TO STAND RIGHT HERE #AND WATCH YOU #AND JUDGE YOUR CLIPPER CHOICES. #CHOSE WISELY HUMAN.
#The best part is that he’s a tactical genius #And also the biggest virgin to ever virgin #in fact I’m pretty sure that the only reason Tony hasn’t made 97 year-old virgin jokes #is because he has so many that he doesn’t know which one to use.
reblogging again because OMG THESE TAGS
Most casual revolution ever